Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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