someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
