Your tits are I can't wait for
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize