I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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