i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize