hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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