He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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