I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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