Swine flu. Run for my life!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
