the day after is always just damage control
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
