So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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