i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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