Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
