covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize