I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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