Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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