We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
