i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
