The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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