"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize