oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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