don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize