there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
