Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
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would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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