I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
