Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
