Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
