So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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