and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
