you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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