belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
