Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
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What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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