My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
