with your own penis?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize