we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
