Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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