dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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