I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
