I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize