chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
