You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
