I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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