yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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