You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
