I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
