Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
