Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
