and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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