I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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