I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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