In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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