Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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