i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
