When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
