His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
