Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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