We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
