I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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