whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize