Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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