I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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