We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
