Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
