So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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